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With thanks to Twitter user James Melville, who describes the following as “a glorious summary of the Brexit debate in the Financial Times comments section.”
Original tweet here.

So this is how the debate reads so far. I kid you not. It’s practically verbatim:

Remainers (left holding the Brexit baby after the Leavers… left) “WTF? ”

Leavers “We voted Brexit, now You Remainers need to implement it”

Remainers “But it’s not possible!”

Leavers “The People Have Spoken. Therefore it is possible. You just have to think positively”

Remainers “And do what exactly?”

Leavers “Come up with a Plan that will leave us all better off outside the EU than in it”

Remainers “But it’s not possible!”

Leavers “Quit with the negative vibes. The People Have Spoken.”

Remainers “But even you don’t know how!”

Leavers “That’s your problem. We’ve done our bit and voted. We’re just going to sit here and eat popcorn and watch as you do it”

Remainers “Shouldn’t you do it?”

Leavers “It’s not up to us to work out the detail, it’s up to you experts.”

Remainers “I thought you’d had enough of experts”

Leavers “Remain experts.”

Remainers “There are no Leave experts”

Leavers “Then you’ll have to do it then. Oh, and by the way, no dragging your feet or complaining about it, because if you do a deal we don’t want, we’ll eat you alive.”

Remainers “But you don’t know what you want!”

Leavers “We want massive economic growth, no migration, free trade with the EU and every other country, on our terms, the revival of British industry, re-open the coal mines, tea and Vickers on every village green, some bunting, and maybe restoration of the empire.”

Remainers “You’re delusional.”

Leavers “We’re a delusional majority. DEMOCRACY! So do the thing that isn’t possible, very quickly, and give all levers what they want, even though they don’t know what they want, and ignore the 16 million other voters who disagree. They’re tight trouser latte-sipping hipsters who whine all the time, who cares.”

Apologies for not crediting the originator of the above – couldn’t get behind the FT paywall to find out their name…

Brexit

2 Comments

  1. aLISON jAY on November 23, 2016 12:01 pm

    So, this is how the debate reads so far. I kid you not, it’s practically verbatim:

    Remainers (desperately clutching on to the Brexit baby despite the other parent’s wishes) “WTF? How could you all be so racist?”

    Leavers “We voted Brexit, now we would like to start negotiation trade deals and access to the single market without free movement of people like so many other countries have”

    Remainers “But it’s not possible! We’ve tried nothing and we’re all out of ideas”

    Leavers “The people have spoken, and we should respect that and try not to water it down or subvert the process in any way”

    Remainers “And do that how exactly?”

    Leavers “As was made clear in the campaign, we don’t want to have any controls imposed on us by the EU, this includes free movement of people, and we should also have access to the single market without free movement of people like lots of other countries do, we should start negotiations as soon as possible, but I’m sure you understand that revealing every detail and giving a running commentary of your negotiations puts you at a serious disadvantage, thus putting the economy, and by extension the British people at a disadvantage, and I’m sure you don’t want that”

    Remainers “But it’s not possible, all of the big banks, politicians, businesses and other people with vested interest have told us so”

    Leavers “It is possible, like we have said, so many other countries have good trade deals with the EU, there is no reason why we should not be able to, as such a close neighbour geographically and culturally, and as a huge exporter.”

    Remainers “But the EU wont give us a good trade deal, they will try and give us a punitive trade deal as a warning to other countries that might want to leave”

    Leavers “Why would we want to be part of an organization that has to threaten it’s members into staying?”

    Remainers “Stop being racist”

  2. feelingmyage on November 23, 2016 12:30 pm

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